Now we wait again....

We and all other parties involved here in the U.S., scanned in and emailed the necessary documents to the head of DIA in Vietnam yesterday to switch our dossier to our new agency. Now we can finally get going on this adoption! Exciting, but scary after what we have been through. We will hopefully have our official referral in the next 2-3 weeks, which is all we need by the 9/1 deadline. It will be sooooooo hard to wait! I am a get in and do it yourself person, so it can be done faster, so it's hard to sit back and let other people be in charge of our fate. After that the next big hurdle to clear will be approval from Immigration and Naturalization Services to bring him here.

Getting my hopes up...

We got good news yesterday! Finally! Vietnam has agreed to reduce our fees for the older boy we are trying to adopt. They are also acknowledging the $2,000 that already went over with our dossier, so we won't have to repay those fees. We are suppossed to find out what our new fee amount will be later today or tomorrow. So, now that we are feeling much more at ease and the whole situation seeming much more doable,we went ahead and overnighted our contracts to the new agency. The process will now really begin! The first step being switching our file at the Dept of International Adoptions from Gift of Love to ADOPPT. Hopefully will be posting more good news tonight or tomorrow!

Aching for a Solution....

It's been a while since I posted. This journey continues to be a rollercoaster of emotions and tough decisions. Yesterday, I was ready to give up and today I want to push forward. We were trying to switch agencies but have not signed the contract yet because the fees are significantly higher. The agency also never returns my calls or emails and it is so frustrating! And if we want this boy, (which we really do!) we have to work with them. The whole situation is so complex that I struggle to understand it wholly and won't even attempt to explain it here. They are not doing a good job advocating for this boy and are definately not trying to help us as far as I can see. So we don't know what we are doing until we can get a hold of Them. I do know however, that I have this constant feeling of anxiousness in the pit of my stomach and worry in my mind. It won't go away until this is solved and I don't think I am ready to give up....yet

Here we go again....

Well, I was suprised to hear today that the family of the 8 yr old boy did not want him to be adopted. So, it seems the 12 yr old boy really was meant for us and that is where we will go. We have already been in contact with the agency liason and she feels we can get the paperwork done in time. I hope the 3rd time IS the charm, because this has been a difficult journey! We have to pay the remainder we owe to the agency and terminate our contract with them, before transferring to the new agency. Of course it has to be a Friday and they won't have our file switched in Vietnam until they have those two things! Today I shampooed the carpets and began painting the kids' rooms because we have to switch them around so the two boys twin beds will fit. So the pink room is now brown and the green and brown room is now pink. We are going to keep plowing ahead because we are determined to make this happen!

Please Say Yes!!!!!!

We got a message from our agency today that the orphanage is going to speak to the family and the boy to make sure everyone will be OK with him being adopted out. I am a little bit worried, but both parents are deceased and I would think the orphanage would explain to him how much better his life would be if he came to live with us. I hope this won't be a Hai repeat, where once someone wants to adopt, the family comes back and reclaims them. They said they would give the final decision in a day or two. I hope they tell us tomorrow because they are a day ahead of us and then I suppose we would have to wait til Monday! They said as long as everyone agrees on the adoption it should be done by the deadline. I can't relax yet, but hopefully soon! If this falls through, I guess we were meant to choose the 12 yr old :) that we almost did. Wow what a ride this has been! Kelly

Decision time is here...

Today we finally got info on the 8 yr old boy from Hoa Binh (the same orphanage as Hai), his name is Thang. I was almost afraid to look at the picture because we had come to a pretty close decision that we were going to go with the 12 yr old boy. It was a really hard decision, but when I saw his face he looked so scared and sad and no longer has a mom or dad. The only down side is that if this goes through, he will be seperated from his two older sisters. His sisters are too old to be adopted by Vietnamese law. We plan to help them from here as we can with clothes and things and keep in contact if possible. I hope some day we can bring them here, but I've been told that other families have tried to do this but were not successful. We are at peace with our decision, but I still feel sad for the other boy we didn't choose. Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed that everything gets done before the September 1st deadline for referrals. Oh, and I must not forget that today is our 13th wedding anniversary! Couldn't be a better gift!

Staying or moving on...

It seems like forever since I have written anything here. It's been a week since we lost Hai, and still no info on the 8 yr old boy. I told the agency today that we will wait a few more days and then we just need to move on. We can't just sit here and let time pass us by until it's too late. We are leaning towards a 12 year old boy. He is older than what we originally wanted, but we do feel drawn to his picture and the fact he IS older and soon he will be too old to be adopted under Vietnam law. We got info on him last week and I emailed the rep in Vietnam and she got back to me within a few hours. It seems like this may be what is to be. It seems that if the other orphanage really wanted the 8 yr old placed they would have gotten something to us sooner. Part of me almost hopes it doesn't work out because then we CAN move on. This is soooo hard. I am a slave to my email, waiting a hoping for any tidbit of info.

How do you choose?

I know we can't complain because there are lot of people out there waiting for a referal for a baby they will probably never get before the adoption closure, but this is killing me! I can't stand sitting here and waiting for information on another boy while time ticks by and we risk losing everything we worked so hard to accomplish. We have received info on two other boys, but we would have to change agencies. How do you choose between 3 boys whose fate lies in your hands and probabaly won't ever be adopted if you don't pick them? How do you pick a boy who is in the orphanage with two older sisters who by Vietnamese law are too old to be adopted? Do you take him from the only family he knows? Or do you choose another sacraficing his economic future in the care of his sisters? Is that fair to them or him? I don't know? I never knew this could be so difficult. When we adopted from China, they just sent us a picture and said this is your daughter and off we went. I wish they would just choose for us because this will be the hardest decision we will ever have to make. I hope it happens soon!

Hai will not be ours...

We got a devastating call today. Hai went home to his family. I am glad he is with his family, but it still is like morning the loss of a child. I always wondered if his mom thought no one would adopt him becasue of his age and have now found out that this has happened to other families as well. We are looking into some other children because we are too far in now to quit and have to fill the void we have. It is really ironic that the kids, on their own accord painted a sign this weekend that said, "Welcome Home Hai". We will be changing our blog name and will notify you of the changes so you can continue to follow our journey to hopefully a new happy ending. The Sept 1st deadline weighs even more heavily on his now since we don't have an identified child anymore.

This News IS Good News....

We received an email from our agency today that our dossier was logged in on June 16th. YES!!!!!!!! So we beat the July 1st deadline! I am not sure if our dossier has been approved yet or sent to where Hai is to be processed for his referral. Will hopefully hear more tomorrow! Now we just need our referral before Sept 1st, which should not be a problem.

No News is NOT Good News...

No news yet of any kind from Vietnam. We are going crazy wondering when we'll know what! I spoke with our agency and other adopters and it seems that when the dossier is delivered to DIA (Dept of International Adoptions... I mislabled it Internal Affairs in previous post)it is logged in. So, I guess we have to assume it is logged in. Another adopter I spoke to, got DIA approval for their dossier in just 10days and ready to be sent where their child was. I hope it goes the same for us, because tomorrow is our 10th day.